Topic Spill

Where my ideas meet reality.

Atheism|Diablo’s Testimonial “The Path To My Realization”

Religious Stained Glass WindowI was raised in a Christian environment my whole life & became a Christian at the age of 15. Fast forward to age 22. At that age, I became a very devoted Christian. I was reading my bible every day & sharing my faith with any one that would hear it. I was an on fire Christian. You couldn’t have shaken my faith in God. It was impossible.

Open Bible

A year later is when I finally started to question things. At 23 year’s old, I decided to join the Army. During basic training, I attended every Sunday church service. My faith was strong there. After basic training, I went to Ft. Benning for Airborne school. I was only there for 4 weeks, so I didn’t have time to find a service there. But nonetheless I read my bible every night.

US Army Uniform Badge

Afterwards, I went on to Ft. Lee for AIT. This was the 1st time I had ever been to a place that I considered to be completely God-less. I just did not feel the presence of God there at all. I didn’t understand why God would be with me through the last two phases of my training, but abandon me when I need him the most. I figured God was just testing me or improving my faith in him some way, so I just used my faith to get me through it. When I finally got to come home for good, I started to wonder where God had been. I didn’t feel like my faith had been improved, nor did I feel like I had any idea of what God was testing me for. For the 1st time in my Christian walk, my faith was shaken.

One Lit Light Bulb Among Many Dim

I didn’t stop believing that God existed, but I was seriously starting to wonder why I believed what I believed. When I got home from the Army, I went to live with my cousin and his, at the time, girlfriend. My cousin considers himself a devout Christian. God is 1st and foremost in his life. I looked up to him a lot during the early days of my faith. When I was having a hard time with my faith, he was the one person I looked to for spiritual guidance. But ironically, it was him that led me to where I am today.

Tug Of War Cartoon 1 on 3

It was his Christian hypocrisy that ultimately led me to the questioning of my faith. Usually, I’m not one to judge somebody when I’ve done worse than they have. But my Christian cousin, who is also a youth minister, made me shake my head some times in confusion. He would go to church and teach his students, then, that same day, he would come home and play video games and cuss like a sailor. He would have pre-marital sex with his girlfriend, and then go have band practice with his students for a Christian concert they had planned together.

Man Hammering A Light Bulb

His excuse for this was that, according to God, they were already married in his eyes.  But what really shook my faith the most, was that after all that, he genuinely still felt like he was a Godly Christian man. I could just tell that he was completely naïve to his own hypocrisy and he really thought that he was a good Christian. So after seeing this so much, I finally decided it was time that I start questioning why I believe what I believe.

Searching For A Solution

I got online a lot looking for anything that was about God to help my doubt. I thought I could find something that would make my faith strong again. I had mentioned my weak faith to some of my Christian friends and what I got was, “God has a plan for you” and “I’ll be praying for you”. For some reason though, this time that just wasn’t cutting it for me anymore. I wanted a real answer. I kept searching online for anything that might help.

Brain In Light Bulb

Finally, one day, I came upon the WWGHA site and started reading the posts there. I was flabbergasted. I had never thought about things like this before. Christianity had caused me to not look at things logically, and I just always accepted what I was told by the church. I couldn’t read these posts fast enough. There were numerous possibilities that I had never considered before. So after 9 years of being a dedicated Christian, I came to the realization that Christianity was false and God wasn’t real.

Blue Problem Word Means Question To Answer

It took me some time to completely accept my atheism, but today I am comfortable with it. The hardest part has been telling my family, and dealing with their reactions to it. Luckily, I had my girlfriend, who was an agnostic at that time; support my decision the whole time. She kept my spirits up when I was having trouble accepting it. Most of my family was shocked, but have accepted me anyway. They tend to think that I will come back around eventually. I try not to de-convert them, unless they feel the need to start preaching at me as to why God exists. To date, I have left them with more “I don’t know” answers than they have left me with. However, they still cling to their faith every time though.

Helping Hand

I hope that my testimonial will help someone, and if needed, I would be glad to help out. Feel free to leave a comment in my comment section or contact me using my contact form. This blog was written by Diablo himself.


  1. producthoochie

    I’m not an atheist BUT I also am not one for organized religion. I was raised Catholic but I find that the lack of ethics within the church really doesn’t jive with my beliefs.When my husband and I met and decided that marriage was on the horizon, we made a mutual decision that we would not baptize our eventual children. My family was (and sometimes still is) in an uproar. My husband was not raised under any religion- his mother is Catholic and his father was Jewish. My family said to me several times that having religion gave you morals. When I countered that not one of them has been in church in years, they claimed that had nothing to do with it. I explained that my husband was not raised with a religion and he is pretty fantastic. They told me, “Well, he is a good guy with great parents” to which I responded, “But he wasn’t raised with a religion!” Then I mentioned that I don’t believe that religion has anything to do with being a good person and very adamantly stated that it was none of their damn business.

  2. IAMM3Z

    Our oldest, 9, was baptized at an early age. She’s been to church and can go to church any time she wants. Luckily for us the pushiest is the occasional bibles in Easter baskets and of course your undermining of our positions behind our backs. You know nothing harmful, just telling her that her Mommy is going to hell. She tells these people that she’s not interested in discussing it with them but they insist; which only pushes her further away.

    She currently believes that the big bang was created by God/s. Her theory is cool with me because she thought it out herself and used the information currently available to her to formulate her own opinion. As a parent I don’t care what she chooses to believe as long as she knows why she believes it. (The exception being cult brainwashing, that would bother me greatly.)

    I agree with you that being religious doesn’t equate to being moral. It has been my experience that people use the ability to be “forgiven” as an excuse to behave immorally. Choosing to be moral in-lieu of being forgiven or out of fear of eternal damnation is the purest essence of morality; in my opinion.

    My journey to atheism was much different than Diablo’s I will try to have my story up soon. Thanks for your honest response, I enjoyed hearing from you.

  3. barbarafranken

    Lovely reading… so from your heart… It is so important that we don’t take others words as gospel but go out in the world and experience what resonates with our own heart… Over the years the word GOD has become taboo… so I like to look at the word “an energy of love” that makes up the whole world, including us… so in this way we are love too… we are god too… creator of our own destiny…. Barbara

    1. IAMM3Z

      Thank you for your kind comment. I will pass it on to Diablo. Have a nice night Barbara!

  4. Kev

    I have a religious tolerance, but I wouldn’t claim to be a Christian anymore. Been there done that and realized just how much I was damaged by it. I still have a hard time dealing with things that were so ingrained. I really feel for people who are brought up in any religious environment…they have such a struggle coming to terms with life due to the narrow-minded approach they are brought up with. Therefore, I try my damnedest not to judge them. It’s difficult.


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