I was raised in a Christian environment my whole life & became a Christian at the age of 15. Fast forward to age 22. At that age, I became a very devoted Christian. I was reading my bible every day & sharing my faith with any one that would hear it. I was an on fire Christian. You couldn’t have shaken my faith in God. It was impossible.
A year later is when I finally started to question things. At 23 year’s old, I decided to join the Army. During basic training, I attended every Sunday church service. My faith was strong there. After basic training, I went to Ft. Benning for Airborne school. I was only there for 4 weeks, so I didn’t have time to find a service there. But nonetheless I read my bible every night.
Afterwards, I went on to Ft. Lee for AIT. This was the 1st time I had ever been to a place that I considered to be completely God-less. I just did not feel the presence of God there at all. I didn’t understand why God would be with me through the last two phases of my training, but abandon me when I need him the most. I figured God was just testing me or improving my faith in him some way, so I just used my faith to get me through it. When I finally got to come home for good, I started to wonder where God had been. I didn’t feel like my faith had been improved, nor did I feel like I had any idea of what God was testing me for. For the 1st time in my Christian walk, my faith was shaken.
I didn’t stop believing that God existed, but I was seriously starting to wonder why I believed what I believed. When I got home from the Army, I went to live with my cousin and his, at the time, girlfriend. My cousin considers himself a devout Christian. God is 1st and foremost in his life. I looked up to him a lot during the early days of my faith. When I was having a hard time with my faith, he was the one person I looked to for spiritual guidance. But ironically, it was him that led me to where I am today.
It was his Christian hypocrisy that ultimately led me to the questioning of my faith. Usually, I’m not one to judge somebody when I’ve done worse than they have. But my Christian cousin, who is also a youth minister, made me shake my head some times in confusion. He would go to church and teach his students, then, that same day, he would come home and play video games and cuss like a sailor. He would have pre-marital sex with his girlfriend, and then go have band practice with his students for a Christian concert they had planned together.
His excuse for this was that, according to God, they were already married in his eyes. But what really shook my faith the most, was that after all that, he genuinely still felt like he was a Godly Christian man. I could just tell that he was completely naïve to his own hypocrisy and he really thought that he was a good Christian. So after seeing this so much, I finally decided it was time that I start questioning why I believe what I believe.
I got online a lot looking for anything that was about God to help my doubt. I thought I could find something that would make my faith strong again. I had mentioned my weak faith to some of my Christian friends and what I got was, “God has a plan for you” and “I’ll be praying for you”. For some reason though, this time that just wasn’t cutting it for me anymore. I wanted a real answer. I kept searching online for anything that might help.
Finally, one day, I came upon the WWGHA site and started reading the posts there. I was flabbergasted. I had never thought about things like this before. Christianity had caused me to not look at things logically, and I just always accepted what I was told by the church. I couldn’t read these posts fast enough. There were numerous possibilities that I had never considered before. So after 9 years of being a dedicated Christian, I came to the realization that Christianity was false and God wasn’t real.
It took me some time to completely accept my atheism, but today I am comfortable with it. The hardest part has been telling my family, and dealing with their reactions to it. Luckily, I had my girlfriend, who was an agnostic at that time; support my decision the whole time. She kept my spirits up when I was having trouble accepting it. Most of my family was shocked, but have accepted me anyway. They tend to think that I will come back around eventually. I try not to de-convert them, unless they feel the need to start preaching at me as to why God exists. To date, I have left them with more “I don’t know” answers than they have left me with. However, they still cling to their faith every time though.
I hope that my testimonial will help someone, and if needed, I would be glad to help out. Feel free to leave a comment in my comment section or contact me using my contact form. This blog was written by Diablo himself.