This is my response to Mrs. Hall’s seemingly well intended letter that’s failed to teach her sons a valuable lesson on personal accountability. I hope that she just forgot to cover that aspect in her letter but the way she degrades this female publicly makes me doubt that she has well informed her son’s to be the type of men she seems to hope they will become. Her letter is not the only motivator for this blog. There are many examples in mainstream media where women are held responsible for the impulses of men. This will only change when we raise our sons to stop treating women as 2nd class citizens. Their mother’s are the best role models and we should not fail them in this regard. Failing them would ensure that history repeats the events that unfolded in the Steubenville rape case. No Mother wants this to be her son but without intervention every son is capable of these mistakes.
If I had a son I would name him Aleizander.
Zander would be free to play with Barbies and free to hate football.
His favorite color would be any one in the rainbow.
If I had a son I would teach him to be kind.
Zander would be free to explore his sexuality and not shamed because it exists.
His sexual education would include teaching him about sexual honesty.
If I had a son he would be raised to take personal responsibility.
Zander would not blame his misbehavior on a woman’s appearance.
His level of respect for women would ensure he never objectified his mate.
If I had a son I would teach him that no means no.
Zander would be responsible for practicing safe sex.
If I had a son I would love him if he chose to love a man.
Zander would free to love anyone he chose.
His sexual orientation would not determine is self-worth.
If I had a son I would teach him to respect all people.
Zander would not mistreat anyone because of their race, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or gender.
His compassion would empower him to stand up to bullies and prevent discrimination.
If I had a son I would accept that he will fail.
His mistakes would be learning experiences to strengthen his character.
Zander wouldn’t be anything more or less than anyone else’s son,
But I would take an active role in ensuring that he is the best man he could be.
I would not prevent him from expressing his emotions.
I would teach him to understand his emotions and how to cope with them.
I would not tell my son that it’s okay to objectify women as long as they were asking for it,
I would teach him that a woman’s sexuality is forced feed to her by society and that she is free to explorer it however she chooses.
As Zander’s mother I would empower him to make informed decisions.
As Zander’s mother I would hold him accountable for those decisions.
As Zander’s mother I would make mistakes but I would never stop trying to be the best mother I could be.
At 28 I have no intention on having more children. I will never have the honor of having a son or the real life experience of trying to achieve my before mentioned plan. My daughter’s will be given the same treatment but my fear is that without my fellow mother’s teaching these things to their son’s my daughter’s will continue having to carry the burden that society has imposed on them to both control a man’s impulses and be responsible for them when he cannot. My hope is that this will reach other Mother’s and encourage them to empower their sons and protect our daughters. Thank you for reading my blog all comments are welcome; including opposing views.
- 10 Bloggers Respond to Mrs. Hall’s Letter with Thoughts on Slut-Shaming, Respect, and Selfies (blogher.com)
- I Hope there’s More to the Mrs. Hall Conversation (desert-people.com)
- Mike Julianelle: We Need To Parent Our Sons AND Our Daughters (huffingtonpost.com)
- Missouri mother’s letter to bisexual son goes viral (fox2now.com)
- 252/365: On being a woman (makethreesixtyfive.wordpress.com)
- Blog Shaming (dadandburied.com)